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| To Paige. |
| 03.06.05 (3:04 am) [edit] |
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Paige,
Throughout the hard times, even though you didn't know me, you opened my eyes to a new beginning. I'm hoping that beginning...begins with you. You've helped me grieve, you've helped me think, you've made me realize that by acting the way I was, I was just making it worse for myself. I can't do that anymore. I've been spending too much time being upset, hateful and being very angry. Thank you for showing me the way.
Dan.
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| FUCK BEING MISERABLE! |
| 02.23.05 (8:07 pm) [edit] |
I can't even recall the numerous times I've cried since I've lost Kaylinn. I'm beginning to smile again, I've started to just...let go. I know it's sudden to let go, I can't do this moping anymore. I can't pretend that she's still here when she's not. I can't pretend to be happy. I need to be happy, she'd want that for me. I need to start dating again, I need to find a good girl, that I can call mine. I need to just stop being this dickhead that constantly lets all of his frustrations out on the people he loves most. My aunt tells me everyday she doesn't know who I am anymore and I guess she's right, I don't even know who I am anymore. Does that answer everyone's question? I'm not who I used to be. I'm anything but who I used to be. I need someone new, to open those doors that Kaylinn did and to change this miserable Dan that really needs to go out the window and bring the happy me back into my life. I need that, I need that badly.
Dan
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| Goodbye.. |
| 02.14.05 (8:41 pm) [edit] |
I put flowers on her grave and it just made me even more depressed. I can't do it anymore.
I'll say goodbye to everyone now while I can.
Jason, Looks like I'll be seeing you soon buddy. You can probably see me right now as I'm typing this to you, thinking about you, wishing I could just talk to you over phone and wishing that things went differently for both of us. I'll see you soon.
Amanda, You saved me yesterday but today is a whole different story. You're away right now, I can't talk to you, Jessie's not on right now, I can't talk to her. I'm alone, I'm insane and I've gone crazy. Thanks for being my friend, thanks for helping me all of those times, thanks for always listening. I wish you love and happiness with Jessie, overcome every damn obstacle because somebody has to last here!
Jessie, Thanks for the conversation earlier, it really made me think about life and thanks for caring about me. It's good to know someone does right? I care for you too, I'm not going to sit here and do one of those..."Look into your bright future" kind of goodbye's, you're a great friend and I'm sorry I couldn't go the better way. I wish you love and happiness with Amanda, overcome every damn obstacle because soembody has to last here!
Andrew, Hey Buddy. Good luck with James, maybe you'll hold onto this one and if you don't, good luck with the next group of guys you happen to date because you have a great heart, I'm sure you'll find one. Thanks for everything, and thanks for being a great friend when I needed it the most.
Renee, Even throughout all of the change, I always have to say goodbye to my friend Renee! I hope you find true love, if you haven't already. Look in all of the right places because you never know, it could be right there in front of your face, right? No more flip flopping! Thanks.
Joleen, Have a great life.
Hayley, My precious Hayley. We've been very close for so long and it's sad to let that go, but I have to in my mind. I'm crazy for still being here. I know, I know, Kaylinn would want me to live happily, but I won't ever live happily so here I am. I hope you find true love too, if you haven't already. It can surprise you at times. So, good luck my sweet Hayley. I'll miss you as I will everyone else.
I'll miss you all.
Dan
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| :( |
| 02.11.05 (8:19 am) [edit] |
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I'm so confused. I'm not even sure what the fuck I'm doing and what I want to do. I should talk to somebody before I make this final decision...
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| What do you say? |
| 02.06.05 (10:19 am) [edit] |
I'm not having a great weekend, in fact...this has put an end to all my happiness. Kaylinn...my beautiful...my love, is gone. Gone...from this world, gone from me. I'm no longer able to smile, I won't be for awhile, tears in my eyes, I know you might think I'm over exaggerating, but I'm in fucking pain. How did she die? I don't want to disclose in here, so please respect my wishes and ask me over IM. I can't even think to explain it right now, I can't even think about it. I'm not going to even think about how much longer I'll be alone, how much longer I'm going to be unhappy, how long it'll take me to get over this. I don't think I will, maybe it was too good to be true. Love hurts, death hurts more. Thank you for all for respecting me, if you need me, you know my screenname. dantheman1367
Thanks everyone...
Dan
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| Fuck |
| 01.24.05 (5:14 am) [edit] |
I'm lonely, my fiancee is out for the week visiting a friend.
I've had a tough week, my mom passed away and it emotionally drained me for a while, I went to her funeral and I don't normally cry, and I did. I wish I had her around to talk to, we always talked and had long conversations that I don't have with even my friends or my fiancee. Why'd you have to go mom? It sucks. She died from cancer, a cancer she's battling for a long time, in a way, I'm glad to see she isn't suffering, I might be a little stubborn to want her here with her son. Todd called me to give me his condolences and I thanked him for that, but we haven't been friends in a long time, ever since he got with Joleen. I know he'd disagree and everything, but it's true. He's never been my best friend in a long time and look at him now...with Joleen all kinds of problems. Joleen and I are still friends but she's nuts. She is NUTS.
Dan
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| Kaylinn |
| 01.06.05 (6:09 pm) [edit] |
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Dan's BACK!
I am in fact getting married in June to my beautiful fiancee Kaylinn. It was definitely love at first sight and all that follows. If you'd like a brief description, it won't be brief, but I'll tell you everything.
I met Kaylinn at a get-together with my friends, she happened to be a friend's sister. She stuck around and partied with us. Our definition of partying is playing video games with a lot of snack foods, fast food, television, movies...games, things like that. She seemed cool so I got to know her better when I was helping her fill bowls in the kitchen. We immediately clicked and began to talk more. It was great because I FINALLY felt connected, it didn't take too long for me to realize that I really liked this girl and I wanted to be with her. After a week of hanging out and late night talks on the phone, I asked her to be my girlfriend. What might sound sudden to you...I asked her 2 months later to marry me, she said yes...We're engaged. We're getting married in June, very happy to be getting married to the woman of my dreams. I'll tell you I could not be any happier. We're living together in my apartment. We slowly but surely turned it into a home. I love Kaylinn with all of my heart, I know you guys would love her too! I know you're bored with my constant talking about Kaylinn.
I'm sure you all remember Todd, my supposed to be best friend who ended up with Joleen, and are still together to this day. He and I aren't even on speaking terms. He met Kaylinn, my beautiful woman, who I adore with my life. He tried to ask her out, she told me about it...we had it out. I hate him, I would kill for Kaylinn. I know she can't read this...but I love you Kaylinn.
Bye!!
Dannnnnny
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| WHAT THE HELL? |
| 08.02.04 (7:57 am) [edit] |
I just received a disturbing email from my 'friend' Andrew. FUCK YOU ANDREW!
Dan,
I know the only reason you're being nice is because you like Amanda or Jessie. The only reason you're joining the military is for the sluts anyways right? I know for a fact that's all you want from people, is sex. That's why you wanted Joleen and dumped her. You dumped her because it was long distance and you wouldn't get any pussy out of the deal. I see why, I mean, who would want to hit that anyways right? She has a new guy every week that always manages to dump her ass, something must be wrong there. Let's get into everyone here....You like Hayley and how old are you? 19-21? She's only 16. Amanda only likes Jessie for pussy until Jessie didn't want to phone fuck her anymore from what I've heard. Now Jessie's with her out of pity, that's how much you missed when you were gone. Amanda HAD to beg her to stay with her, pathetic. These people are fucked up. Jessie isn't even in love with Amanda, I think it's funny. So, Amanda has feelings for Jessie, but Jessie has no feelings for Amanda. It's cute. Renee....she's a huge story too. She fawns over Theo because he's the only guy what will ever want to hit her like that. I mean she's a whore...you've seen her picture. She has how many piercings, she belongs with Cade. All she does is talk about how much she needs to get out, well she's a bitch, kill yourself then you depressive whore. I hate everyone Dan...I don't understand why everyone has to start with me and piss me off. They all act like they're your best friend then they fuck with you. Cade is cool....you're cool...Hayley is a backstabber with a hidden agenda. I think she's a liar. No one likes me. - Andrew.
Well Andrew I just enjoyed that email. What is with you? You're so hypocritical over nothing...
Dan
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| Been Busy |
| 07.29.04 (8:06 am) [edit] |
Sorry, I've been really busy getting ready to leave soon. I leave in September. I bet you're all happy!
I hope everyone is doing good and staying out of trouble, though I've noticed there was a war between you all. I hope you all get along again and stay getting along because I hate sitting here reading about that shit. I love you all but the point of it just doesn't exist. COMMENT AND MAKE ME HAPPY!!
Dan
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| Home |
| 07.13.04 (2:06 pm) [edit] |
I'm home from the base. I like it there, I'm going for it. I leave in a few months, I love it. I need to do something good for once, I'll do it, come home alive. I wish people would have more FAITH in me (Andrew).
I had a good day, got off the plane then I relaxed in the nice weather. I went swimming, enjoyed it. I miss Hayley.
Dan
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| Leavinggggggggggggg Soon |
| 07.02.04 (11:45 am) [edit] |
I'm sure you'll all miss me soon. I'm going away for like 2 weeks to visit the base I'll be staying at to train and everything. Be sure to love me and miss me. I'll miss everybody, I'm leaving tomorrow at like 5 am. Isn't that great? Yay.
Dan
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| Drop Out...... |
| 06.25.04 (7:33 am) [edit] |
I've decided not to use the friends section anymore. I've given up on college, I can't afford it anymore. I won't be going back in August. I don't even want to be in this state anymore. I'm joining the Marine Corps. I leave in October to train. I'll be on to annoy you all but not often at all. I need the money for college, hopefully I can go kill some Iraqi bastards and some other terrorist assholes for a living!
Isn't it great????
Dan
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| Dream Dream DREAM |
| 06.23.04 (11:05 am) [edit] |
Things will never be the same.
I'm not trying to sound like an asshole, but most of you have changed, or you've never changed, I changed. It's all good though, I love you all! You all make me happy. You were there for me when no one else ever was. I love you all, I hope you never forget that.
-----Friends-----
[Hayley] It's cool you told me how you felt last night. We'll take everything slow, you know that. You have a boyfriend, I respect your feelings. You'll always be my friend, even if we have excess feelings.
[Andrew] You're a cool dude. I mean I don't know many guys that are gay and straight that can turn out as like best friends. You're a really nice guy, no matter what comes your way, take advantage of every opportunity. You deserve it.
[Amanda/M] I must say, you're probably the nicest person I've ever met. You've always been there for me, whether it be over love, over life, and everything in between. It's cool to have a friend like you beside me even though we're so far apart. You're like a sister to me.
[Cleo] I know you're young, but you're a nice girl. You're very open with your feelings. I don't know many girls like you. You're fun to talk to, you make a decent conversation out of everything.
[Renee] You're a great friend to me. You're so diverse, I'm from a different world. I've never been friends with someone like you. I don't care if it's over the internet, but it's great. You're awesome, never forget that.
[Jessie] We don't talk much at all, but when we have, and reading your entries, you're a great person. You and Amanda are amazing people, I wish you all the happiness. I wish you luck, I wish you a future. I miss you Jessie!
[Joleen] Patching up this friendship isn't as difficult as I thought it was. It proves we were never meant to be. We were always meant to be friends, I hope we'll always be friends.
[Nasya] I want my cookie.
Dan
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| Ashlee Simpson MAN!! |
| 06.21.04 (12:55 pm) [edit] |
Fuck Ashlee Simpson. She's another remake of Jessica Simpson, Fefe Dobson and every other little popstar. Only difference is....she's trying ROCK music just to be different from her sister. Ashlee, NICE TRY! Listen to your voice! YOU SUCK! I'd rather listen to Britney Spears sing Opera.
Friends Section (New!! Yes, I'm a loser. Time to talk to my friends through my entries.)
[Hayley] Things are pretty weird between us. Mostly because ever since I expressed how I felt about you, it's been hard to talk to you. I miss you.
[Andrew] I haven't talked to you in awhile. I don't remember the last time I was on AIM, that might explain some of it too. I hope you're doing good, I hope that you move on from Ryan.
[M] I talked to you yesterday. Sammy gave me your digits so I called you. It was cool talking to you. You sound awesome on the phone, not that you didn't online either. It was fun. I hope to talk to you again sometime.
[Renee] I wish the best of look to you and Theo. You deserve it. Shit can be rough at times but if you can make it through like you have, then it's worth it.
[Jessie] I haven't talked to you in forever either. When the hell are you ever online? That was hypocritical. I miss you. I hope you're doing fine, taking care of yourself.
[Jason] I talked to you just yesterday. It was cool to talk to you again.
[Joleen] I know you hate me, I mostly hate you too. I'd rather work out our differences though. You were a bitch to me. You went and hooked up with my best friend. Ha..nice.
[Nasya] I don't know you too well. You seem really nice though. I hope to talk to you soon.
DAN
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| Hefty! |
| 06.16.04 (12:39 pm) [edit] |
I've been sitting in front of the air conditioner most of the play and playing video games. Ever notice when it's extremely hot you never want to do anything? It's too hot to sit outdoors, enjoy the outdoors, unless you own a pool. Even those that own a pool, never use the pool. It's useless to own something you never use!
[LINE]
I haven't talked to Hayley since I did that survey. I'm sad.... :cry: I don't think she likes me anymore, or she's just creeped out by me. I guess I can see why. It just hurts I guess. That's fine. If she's not thrilled about it, she can ignore me, never talk to me again. I expected that much.
[LINE]
Todd and I are supposed to hang out tomorrow and go sailing. I don't think I want to go anymore. All he talks about is Joleen, like he did every other girl he dated, then dumped. I don't understand what she's expecting to get out of this. Is she expecting me to be upset? I'm not. I think it's stupid. It's stupid to trust a guy who can't even manage a relationship over a month. Once the girl falls for him, he freaks out and backs out. We'll see how long it will last. I can't wait until she tells him that she loves him, she'll lose him in a split second. She's blind. If it is true love, whatever, have a nice life! Jealousy isn't an issue with me. I'll never be jealous of you Joleen, I'll never be jealous of Todd. I'm better than both of you combined. You can tell him everything, just like you did last time. :)
[LINE]
[b]Dan[/b]
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| Damn Renee |
| 06.14.04 (1:30 pm) [edit] |
Long Survey you'll hate with your life.
You
Full Name? Daniel Something or Other
Nicknames? Danny, Dan, Daniel Son
Birthdate? I don't know, I forgot
Age? I'm a young boy on the road to manhood!
Hair Color (Currently)? light brown or a dirty blonde
Hair Color (Naturally)? ^^^^^
Eye Color (Currently)? Take a look and find out!
Eye Color (Naturally)? ^^^^^^
Height? I think I'm a tall country boy
Weight? 160 or less, maybe more. I don't know.
Freckles? Nope.
Dimples? Maybe!
Want Piercings? Not really, I wouldn't look good.
Piercings (Currently)? None.
Want Tattoos? Eventually, needles kind of creep me out
Tattoos (Currently)? :
Current Education? College.
Name of your school/university? You're going to stalk me aren't you? You sick twisted perverted old man.
Want a job? No.
Have a job? Of course I do.
Glasses/Contacts? Nope.
Dentures/Teeth? I don't have any dentures.
Measurements (You know)? 8 1/4 inches when it's not erect. I'm proud of it!
What would you change about yourself? I don't think I'm too horrible.
Want a car? Yes!
Have a car? Yes.
Have you had sex yet? Yes.
If not, when do you plan to?
Are you waiting for the right person?
Current/Past/Present
Greatest Achievement? Graduating, it's hard to do now a days.
Last state you visited? I don't remember.
Current channel on tv?
Current radio station?
Last IM (when/who)? Todd, he's STILL my friend. I don't care, he can fucking keep her.
Last visit to the grocery store? Today
Last thing you bought? Candy
Last time you cried? I don't even remember.
Last time you laughed? This afternoon.
Last time you said you loved someone? Not too long ago, I mean....it was only a few weeks ago we broke up.
Last time you ate? 10 minutes ago, yummy.
Last time you slept? ALL morning.
Last time you missed someone? Today.
Last time you hugged someone? Saturday.
Last time you kissed someone? Long ago.
Last time you cheated?
Last time you smiled? Today.
Last time you heard your favorite song?
Last time you danced?
Last time you played a sport? Saturday.
Last time you put clothes on? 3 days ago jk
Last time you took a shower? A week ago! kidding again.
Last time you comforted a friend? Saturday.
Last time you sang? Friday.
Last time you were on stage? Friday.
Last time you hit someone? Friday.
Last time you wished you were dead? Friday.
Last time you tried to kill yourself? Friday.
Last time you drank? Friday.
Last time you smoked?
Last time you went to the mall?
Last time you wore your mothers panties? Last night baby.
Last time you had sex? Long time ago.
Last time you had any sexual involvement? Long time ago.
Last time you loved someone so much you cried? Long time ago.
Last time you wished you were holding someone? Friday.
Last time you hated a friend? Friday.
Pets
Do you have any pets? Yessir.
I'm going to list some, if you own 1 of the following please display the name(s) and any information.
Cat? My kitty...I love my kitty.
Dog? I had a dog when I was a boy, he was hit by a car.
Snake? Never owned a snake.
Bird? My parents have it.
Rat? A few years ago.
Hamster? Never had a ham.
Ferret? Nope.
Rabbit? I am a rabbit.
Guinea Pig? Nope.
Tarantula? Once, it got loose and we had to move, hahaha.
Scorpion? I wanted one
Mouse? I wanted one
Pig? I am a pig
Fish? I cried when it died.
Frog? I would get them from the fields.
Lizard? I wanted a lizard
Gecko? Nope
Turtle? Nope
Cockroach? Nope
Any insect? Ant Farm
People? I wish
Favorites
Ice cream? Mint chocolate chip or just plain chocolate
City? I love NYC too.
State? New York because of the city. I wanted to be a firefighter there
Country? None
Continent? Europe!
TV Channel?
Radio Station?
Soft Drink? Pepsi
Juice? I like milk
Food? Cookies
Genre of Music? Rock, Classical Rock, Old stuff
Instrument? My guitar
Candy bar? Hershey bar, snickers, reese, kit kat
Any type of hard candy? jolly, cream savers, those citrus altoids :D
Gum? bubble yum....
Shoes? Converse
Store? You have to understand...I either dress very clean or in my football jerseys or in any ragged t-shirt. I wear old navy too.
Favorite age/time in history?
Subject in school? Lunch.
Perfume? Oh the scent of Jessie turns me on.
Cologne? Nautica.
Body Wash? Uhh
Shampoo? I don't really care.
Book? The top 100 ways and tactics to score chicks!
Movie? Strip Tease
Actor? Orlando Bloom is just the hottest....YEAH...RIGHT.
Actress? If any hot actress wanted to come to my hotel, I'd take her.
Website? [url=]http://www.playboy.com[/url]
Scent? Like I said, the scent of Jessie turns me on.
Scent of Candle? Jessie is my little flame.
Month? June, July, August.
Day? Friday, Saturday.
Word? Radical.
Quote? "I have a dream!"
Painting? The nude on my wall.
Artist? I'm an artist. Using body paints during....ok nevermind me.
Day in your life (past)? The day...I hit puberty.
Thing that has happened to you? The days...I went through puberty.
Animal? Rabbit.
Car? Any mustang!
University? Uhh
Sports team of the following sports...(Can be local, famous)
Football? The Bucs
Soccer? I don't give a damn.
Hockey? Lightning!!
Baseball? Tampa Bay Devil Rays!
Basketball? Orlando Magic, Miami Heat
Volleyball? Who cares.
Lacrosse? Lacrosse is fucking awesome.
Rugby? Who cares.
Tennis? Boring unless you play it.
Swimming? Boring.
Wrestling? Boring.
Other? Boxing is awesome.
Boys name? I don't care yet.
Girls name? ^^^^
Rapper?
Musician?
Band?
Club?
Hang out?
Relationships
What are you (Gay-Straight-Confused or as you say bisexual)?
Fill this out if your in a relationship
What is their name?
Are they handsome/beautiful?
How long have you been together?
Are you in love with this person?
Are you a local or long distance relationship?
If local, are you able to see them everyday?
if long distance, is it hard?
Are you going to see eachother soon?
Have you had sex with this person?
Do you want to?
Have you cheated on this person?
Have you ever wanted to?
Have you ever broken up?
Do you talk to this person a lot?
Do your friends like this person?
Your crush (if not in a relationship)
What is their name? Hayley.
Are they handsome/beautiful? She's as beautiful as she's always been to me. She'll always be.
How long have you liked this person? I don't know, we started talking again. She might come back to tblog. I'm so excited!!!!!
Does he or she like you too? I hope so, but I don't know. She'll know about this as soon as she reads it.
Are you in love with this person? No.
Are you a local or long distance crush? Long distance, but oh well.
If local, are you able to see them everyday?
if long distance, is it hard? Kind of...I'll work around it.
Are you going to see eachother soon? We'll see.
Have you had sex with this person? No.
Do you want to? That can't be answered.
Have you been with this person? No.
Do you talk to this person a lot? Now I do.
Do your friends like this person? My online friends do.
Friends
Who is your best friend? Todd was.
How old are they? Who cares?
How long have you known eachother? ALL MY LIFE.
Do you know everything about eachother? Yeah.
Do they know your secrets? Of course he does.
Loudest friend? Mike.
Prettiest friend? I love all of my friends. :)
Dumbest friend? Todd.
Smartest friend? All of my good friends. :)
Tallest friend? Mike.
Shortest friend? Don't know.
Foreign friend? Manuel.
Racist friend? Missy!
Hottest friend? Hayley!
Best body? Hayley!
Fat ass? Nobody.
Dorkiest? Andrew.
Annoying? Joleen.
Coolest? Missy and Jessie, Renee too!
Sluttiest? Joleen.
Popular? Missy and Jessie!
The 1 who makes you happiest? Hayley! My friends too.
The 1 who makes you the saddest? Uhh
The 1 who makes you angriest? Joleen.
The 1 who you wish were more than friends? Hayley :(
Friends you've dated? A list.
Friends you've lost? Many.
Friends you've recently made? Some.
Long survey
Did this take you a long time? Yes.
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| I Won't Be...Nice Forever |
| 06.08.04 (11:13 am) [edit] |
Maybe you should stop bad mouthing me and just get over it. I'm not stupid. You're only trying to get with Todd to get back at me. I couldn't care Joleen. I'm over this. And quite frankly, Todd isn't the type of guy who is very honest, he's only lying to you so that way you do go out with him so he can dump you. All he wants is sex. He might have told you about this 'long-term' relationships, but what about his others? I know everything about Todd, I'VE KNOWN HIM SINCE I WAS IN PRE-SCHOOL.
So, here's a list for you -
[b]Jennie - [/b]Todd lasted with her for a week after he got her drunk and she gave him head.
[b]Kelley - [/b]They lasted maybe 3 days before she grew tired of his bullshit.
[b]Brittany - [/b]She found out that he was with another girl while with her. They lasted for 3 days as well.
[b]Brittany J. - [/b]She found out that he was with the other Brittany while being with her, they lasted 2 days.
[b]Nicole - [/b]They lasted for a month, that's his 'long-term' relationship. He wanted sex too early in the relationship. He broke up with her because she said no.
[b]Danielle - [/b]His other 'long-term' relationship, they only lasted a month too because he demanded the same thing.
[b]Jessica - [/b]His 'friend with benefits'. Still current.
[b]Stephanie - [/b]His other 'friend with benefits'. Still current.
Think about it Joleen. How long will YOU last?
Dan
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| .... |
| 05.31.04 (3:06 pm) [edit] |
I just read Joleen's blog. I feel like shit yet again for having these feelings and trying to keep her out of it. It's not my fault really. I'm trying to help her, I'm saving her. I'm helping her stay away from my shit. She doesn't deserve it, and I'm sorry Joleen. I'm going to take you back when it's gone. Nobody deserves pain. I'm sorry I hurt you, I hurt too. I love you.
Dan
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| Just A Bit...of Lonliness |
| 05.28.04 (6:08 am) [edit] |
You know, there will never be a day Missy and Renee don't get a single song stuck in my head, "Burn" - Usher, for example is today's lucky winner for my music on this thing. Missy and Renee double teamed me with that song, so it's never leaving my head until a new song catches onto me. It just seems to suit me for awhile...just the whole break up and everything. I can't even explain the pain I feel from this, and I'm the guy who ended it. I did it for a good reason, and I'm saving her from the bullshit she went through with Matt. I couldn't tell her how I felt over the phone because I would cry. Why can't anyone see I'm helping her out? Arghhhh.
I love you Joleen.
Through think and thin,
Through hell and back.
Why can't you see?
The love we were fighting for,
Just wasn't for me.
I'm a cold guy...
Nothing on my right mind
I didn't mean to make you cry.
I was being true
Because you don't deserve it
and I love you.
How else can I prove myself?
When all I can do...
Is hate myself.
Why should I hate myself
When everything I did...
Was true to myself?
I was being true to you
True to me
And letting you know that I love you.
I can't hold back from my feelings
Because all I feel inside
Is the anger I built up...these are my feelings.
All I can tell you is how I feel
In hopes you'll understand
As my heart had broken inside, and left it with a seal.
I love you, Joleen. You are my true love, my only love, and we'll be together when I can love you as much as you need to be loved.
Dan
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| 05.26.04 (5:38 pm) [edit] |
Joleen's so mad at me because I never called her. I don't know why I didn't, I was so angry at the world. I was in such a piss poor mood and I didn't want to take it out on her. I didn't want to call her and make things worse, but I guess either way I did. I feel like shit, and I'm sorry Joleen. I should have called you even if I was mad. I didn't want to hurt you, and you know I didn't mean to intentionally. I'm also scared baby...I've never loved someone the way I love you...and this is the first time I've ever said it...because I know I love you. It's like new to me, and I'm scared because I don't want shit to end up like it did with my ex. You make me feel complete and happy, but I'm so angry on the inside and I'm cold. I don't know how to explain this shit to you but I just think you're better off without me for a bit until I can straighten this shit out. I have to think about it and that's why I didn't call you. I don't want you to go through the shit I go through, you don't need to. I've never wanted you to deal with my shit. I've kept it all in, and it isn't you. You aren't the reason I feel this way, and I don't know how else to deal with it anymore. I take it out on everyone else, and I don't want you to be the one I take it out on because I care about you too much. You have to believe me when I say that you're the only girl I want to be with but I don't want you to be the girl that ends up all depressed because of me. I don't want you to feel like you're the reason, and I don't want you to be sad because of me. I love you, and I know I'll never stop, but I need to figure shit out before I take this any further. You don't have to wait up for me but please understand it isn't you, and I just need time to sort everything out. I don't know why this all had to come out now and why I didn't deal with this before when it would have been easier on you. Why didn't I do this shit before we got together? I don't know why I didn't but I'm sorry. I love you Joleen, and I'll never stop loving you. I hope you're okay.....
Dan
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| Sing To Me |
| 05.17.04 (10:10 am) [edit] |
I sang to Joleen yesterday, and I felt like an idiot, but she liked it, and started crying. I hope I sounded okay, I've been practicing for awhile.
[u][b]Saturday........[/b][/u]
I didn't do anything all day Saturday, so I went to the gym, I was working out for a bit when this big sweaty guy was working out next to me, and he kept eyeballing me. I thought he was gay for a minute, well the whole time, and he kept tapping my arm and telling me I had a nice body. I was pretty grossed out, and I left.
[u][b]Sunday.........[/b][/u]
I called Joleen, we only talked for a half hour and that sucked. I sang to her, and she cried, but then I fell asleep....I woke up shortly after she hung up. I didn't want to call her back in case she was sleeping. I would have felt awful had I woken her up. I kinda stayed up watching tv a bit, got a call from my friend Dave and I talked to him for a bit, then dozed off.
[b]Today...........[/b]
It's early yet, but I've had a pretty boring day. I miss Joleen, and I can't get any work done. So I thought I would comment on people and then write an entry, then maybe watch some tv and call Joleen in a bit. I'm not sure though, I'm hungry, I might eat something first. Oh well, better go.
Dan
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| Thankful... |
| 05.13.04 (1:49 pm) [edit] |
I'm with Joleen now, and I feel pretty confident about this relationship....
She says I have a sweet voice, but hers is even sweeter, and everytime she'd say something, my heart would beat faster, and I would get nervous because I didn't want to do or say something stupid. I've known her for so long, like most of my tblog friends, but it seems like this is right. I don't care if it's long distance, if you have a problem with it, you can just fuck off, it's my life. I trust her completely, and I know she wouldn't do anything to hurt me, as I wouldn't do anything to hurt her either, and she makes me happy. Yeah, we've had rough points in our friendship, but we're building with a relationship, and this relationship is going to last.
[i]Who would have thought it would have turned out that way?[/i]
Dan
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| lalala |
| 05.10.04 (12:26 pm) [edit] |
I haven't said much because I have a new g/f, and she's the most annoying person I've ever met. I can't stand her, her laugh drives me crazy, her smile is nasty, and she's just gross. She's dumber than shit, and she has an annoying voice. I can't stand listening to her talk. I hate spending time with her, and whenever I'm with her, I do everything I can to do something so she doesn't fucking talk. Whenever she talks, my ears ring. I can't stand it, and I cringe. She always wants me to kiss her. HOW CAN I KISS HER? SHE'S ANNOYING. I can't even stand the look of her. I don't like anything about her, and I'm forced to date her because my parents know her family. She's annoying! Kill her!
ANYBODY WANT A G/F? TAKE HER PLEASE!
Dan
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| Mother...MOTHER... |
| 04.30.04 (12:26 pm) [edit] |
I broke my fucking leg last night and it's not fun wobbling around on crutches all day, it's more of a fucking pain in the ass. I'm tired of being hassled because of who I like. Fuck you, ok? Fuck you. It's my business, not yours, and just because I fucking like her, doesn't mean I'm trying to get with her. Unlike you, asshole, I'm decent. So shut the fuck up. Dickwad.
I had a rough day with my parents. They came over and gave me a load of shit about my messy house. I can't fucking clean right now, I have a broken leg. They told me what a fuck up I am right now, and I couldn't care. My ex gf there already has a new guy. It's funny because the new guy is my fucking boss. She's already fucking my boss and that doesn't surprise me the dirty 2 cent whore. Man, fuck it. I'm not going to get THAT mad over my slutty ex fucking around with my fucking boss. She'll probably get me fired the low life mooching whore. She's a free loading cunt. I hate her, and I'd love to kill them both.
Dan
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| Ordinary Dan! |
| 04.28.04 (12:57 pm) [edit] |
I'm ordinary! Plain! Simple! BORING! Everyone changed on me, yes they did! EVERYONE! CONSPIRACY! I spot one! And I know one when I see one! And this is a conspiracy! Damn you all! DAMN YOU ALLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!
ORDINARY DAN
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You'll always be in my heart.
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